The Morning Coffee...........Buenos dias

[Shypappette]

morning folk. I didn't know it was Story time Thursdays.
*sits cross legged in front of DA, careful not to make eye contact* [img]wink.gif[/img]

[-megalithanod]

good morning all

Dragging this morning. I ended up driving all around town yesterday, one reason to get Case Files #11 as the only comic shop that carries it in town is 20 miles across town.

So I was amazed at how much time a spent in my vehicle yesterday -

12 miles to work, 24 miles from work to the comic shop, 2 more miles down the road to a WalMart, 2 miles back, then on the way home I get a call from my wife who while dropping off a friend from a day of shopping had locked her keys in her car at their place (running as well), so back the 24 miles, and another 10, then the 22 miles to get back home just in time to watch CSI:NY

Why do I tell you this? No reason, just talking over breakfast [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Moviemaniac4]

Originally posted by -megalithanod:
good morning all

Dragging this morning. I ended up driving all around town yesterday, one reason to get Case Files #11 as the only comic shop that carries it in town is 20 miles across town.

So I was amazed at how much time a spent in my vehicle yesterday -

12 miles to work, 24 miles from work to the comic shop, 2 more miles down the road to a WalMart, 2 miles back, then on the way home I get a call from my wife who while dropping off a friend from a day of shopping had locked her keys in her car at their place (running as well), so back the 24 miles, and another 10, then the 22 miles to get back home just in time to watch CSI:NY

Why do I tell you this? No reason, just talking over breakfast [img]smile.gif[/img]

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I can make a reality show just with you....
[img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Moviemaniac4]

Originally posted by Shypappette:
morning folk. I didn't know it was Story time Thursdays.
*sits cross legged in front of DA, careful not to make eye contact* [img]wink.gif[/img]

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That's right....just don't stare at him

[img]eek.gif[/img]

[DARTH POOH]

Good Day All.
Since it's story day, I thought I'd share this
tidbit with you, since it has NOTHING at all to do with the Election..or anything really.
Enjoy with your coffee

Naked man hides in plane wheel well at L.A. airport
LOS ANGELES (AP) ? A naked man climbed a fence at Los Angeles International Airport, ran across the tarmac and climbed into the wheel well of a departing plane before firefighters talked him out, airport officials said.
The 31-year-old Canadian man, who was described as mentally unstable, had been turned away hours earlier when he tried to buy a ticket on a Qantas Airways flight to Australia with only a credit card receipt.

Neil Melly told authorities he stripped naked to protest the airline's decision to deny him a ticket, said Nancy Castles, an airport spokeswoman.

In the incident Monday, baggage handlers saw Melly climb over an 8-foot barbed-wire fence and sprint to the Boeing 747 as it backed away from the gate.

He climbed into a landing gear wheel well of the plane, which came to a stop. He initially ignored police officers' commands to come out, but complied when city firefighters arrived. Melly later was booked on trespassing charges.

Melly suffered from bipolar disorder and had been listed as a missing person in Canada, Castles said.

The plane, bound for Melbourne, departed an hour late.

Paul Haney, a spokesman for the agency that operates the airport, said authorities will look into improving the fence because of the incident.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2004 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

[grail25]

The 31-year-old Canadian man, who was described as mentally unstable

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Aren't we all??

[Slytherin Snape]

Morning all! Love the "this day in history" fact MM. [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] I skipped breakfast, so I think I'll need to run out for something more substantial than donuts or cheerios because I am really hungry!

<font color="#cd6600" size="1">[ November 04, 2004 10:45 AM: Message edited by: ?SNAPE? ]</font>

[DemonsAngel]

morning all *grabs remaining donuts and sits in front of DA* oohooh tell another one [img]wink.gif[/img]

[Darkest Angel]

God Is Dead, After Weather and Sports

by Mike Reiss

Late in the millennium, astrophysicists perfected the Grand Unified Field Theory, found the last scraps of "missing matter" in the universe, and proved, quite by accident, that God does not exist. Or, at best, God was not a very awesome particle, one billion-billion-billionth the size of a pea, with the static electricity charge of an infinitely small sock stuck to a tiny sweater. The media reported this story with the same breathless style they used in "Salt is a Killer" in 1991 and "Salt is a Miracle Cure" in 1998. And the public reacted to reports of God's non-existence as it had to such shocking stories as Darwin's theory of evolution or Michael Jackson's pederasty:

Day 1: That can't possibly be true.

Day 2: I kind of knew it all along.

The jig was up for religious leaders all over the world, and many decided to come clean. From Britain, the long-suppressed introduction to the King James Bible was released: "This is a booke of instructional tayles for children and the weak of minde, and not to be taken too seriously." Israeli archaeologists confessed that the Dead Sea Scrolls were a rather crude forgery which contained such glaring anachronisms as "toothpaste," "steam engine," and "Phil Silvers." And Chinese scholars admitted that the chubby smiling Buddha began life as a corporate logo for pickled eel in the third century; he was, in effect, the Bob's Big Boy of his time.

And so the world began to accept life without God. Christians who had been searching for an excuse to skip church now had a humdinger. Jews could finally eat pork without guilt, and found it didn't taste nearly as good that way. Contrarily, millions of starving Hindus were quite happy to eat the sacred cows which had sauntered through their streets for centuries. By year's end, India's leading killer had gone from hunger to hypertension, and the clich? of the portly, red-faced Hindu was born.

All but the most fun religious holidays soon passed into obscurity. Easter: in. Lent: out. Hanukkah stayed, while Yom Kippur was replaced with Hanukkah II. Ramadan, the Moslem period of fasting, sobriety, and sexual abstinence, was shortened from twenty-eight days to twenty-eight seconds. Christmas, which had long ago been stripped of any religious meaning, was virtually unchanged.

All over the world, houses of worship lost their tax-exempt status and were forced to shut down. Mosques became banks, cathedrals were converted into multiplexes. Dozens of small churches were turned into a chain of coffee shops called "St. Arbucks." They were wildly successful in 2003, and bankrupt a year later.

In 2008, the Catholic Church had a massive going out of business sale, auctioning off all its religious art. The Last Supper now graces the lobby of Mitsubishi International in Osaka. The Sistine Chapel ceiling was moved intact to Trump's Vaticasino in Atlantic City; cigarette smoke has undone all the restoration work and it now looks worse than ever. Larry Flynt bought the Pieta, and what he's done with it is too gruesome to speculate on.

The Vatican, now stripped of its treasures, installed a water slide to attract tourists. It didn't work. As for the Pope, he became just another celebrity, famous for being famous. He had a talk show on the USA Network, he did a brandy ad, he cut a country and western album. His infomercial for a vibrating massage chair can be seen on many cable channels at three a.m. He married Linda Evans.

One thing did not happen in the post-God world: there was not a total moral collapse. People who didn't have sex because they were too religious now didn't have sex because they were too ugly. A Dallas man who didn't kill his hated wife out of fear of God, now didn't kill her out of fear of the Texas Department of Corrections. In fact, he never killed her-they remained married for fifty-eight years. In the last six years of his life, the man grew demented and began to think his wife was his mother; he died more in love with her than he could possibly imagine.

And so the Godless world plugged along-people were lustier, greedier, prouder, angrier, more envious, gluttonous, and slothful-but not so much you'd notice. They were also a little happier, until July 18, 2036, when geologists taking deep core samples discovered there really was a Hell and we were all going there.

[Biohazard]

everytime i read one of those, i get to the end and wonder where the punchline went....